The Ball and Chain
I can’t remember the stench of bleach
or the chafe of a tampon shoved up my nose.
My tongue has acclimated to the sharpness
of my tooth, where I chipped it off
in the back of a boy’s head. The other
boy’s sweat-slick skin, his rabid panting
behind my ear, his wet palm cupping
the supple flesh of my elbow, his forearm
girdling my waist, I’ve forgotten it all. I could
still torque the ball and chain though,
I could crouch behind you and feed
your arm between your legs and muscle
it skyward, where every pound
of you would be suspended in the hot,
thick air of the gymnasium and briefly
you’d see nothing but fifty thousand lumens
of gymnasium lights and the wire cages
that cover them. Who could forget
it was the ball and chain I used on the boy
when I broke his neck. I remember
the rigid silence as they collared
and strapped him to the spinal board,
the man’s deep voice that pierced
that silence—Good move, that’s it,
good move, kill him—and that swollen
feeling when, for me, the bleachers
roared and they held my naked arm
high in victory.
Copyright © 2022 by J. P. Grasser. This poem was first printed in Beloit Poetry Journal, Vol. 72 and No. 2 (Fall/Winter 2022). Used with the permission of the author.